Friday, March 18, 2011

The End Of Hibernation

Sniff...something smells different.  Spring?  Could be.  It feels like I've been in a self-protective cave for awhile allowing life - and Arsenal - to pass me by while I try to regain strength in the part of my limbs and brain that control my fan enthusiasm.  I have to admit my fervor waned after the last two week's worth of losses and the pile-up of injuries.  So I climbed into my hole, curled up, and gave my beat up psyche a rest.

But, as I said - sniff - something smells different.  It smells almost German.  Don't roll your eyes - German is a smell.  Craziness, great cheekbones, granite jaw, muscular legs, and perfect shoulders are all smells - if one is obsessed with Jens Lehmann.

See what I mean?

Jens was my first official Arsenal crush.  Before I understood the game or even cared if Arsenal won, there was Jens standing tall in between the sticks yelling at people, shoving people, kicking people, and even knocking some people's teeth out in the process.  He also did a bit of good goal keeping too, accumulating 10 clean sheets in a row in Europe, keeping out Riquleme's penalty shot in the semi-final allowing us to advance to Paris for the Champions League Final.  Of course, I have to remember, he is a bit Mad.

Anyway - he's back, and I'm perked up.  Jens' return is great timing also, as my second dreamy crush is out for the rest of the season.  Wenger announced that The Verminator (who possesses many of the same great attributes as the German but seems much saner) is done for the year.   Much like the famed Greek warrior, Vermalaen has been undone by his heel - although only suffering a football death worth one season as opposed to an eternity.  I am waxing philosophical today, aren't I?  I suppose that comes from trying to shake away the cobwebs.

What else?  Djourou is also out for about six weeks meaning our favorite pairing of Squillaci and Koscielny are most likely going to face West Brom on Saturday.  West Brom beat us last match at the Emirates and like to play - thankfully - the ball mostly on the ground.  Our French pairing in the middle don't fare so well together against balls in the air, so maybe they'll be alright.

Cesc, Song and Theo are still out so here's hoping Wenger puts Nasri in the middle and Rosicky either out wide or on the bench.  I don't think he is doing well in the middle and Nasri on the wing seems to be less potent with Cesc out.  I'm hoping also that Le Boss gives Rammers a start ahead of either Denilson or Diaby.  I don't care which one at this point, just keep the very non-dynamic duo off the pitch.  Aaron has been called up for international duty so a good amount of playing time would probably be appreciated by the Welsh National Manager.

So with only 10 games to go and only one trophy on which to focus, the end of the season is looking tricky and unexpected.  I'm not sure I was expecting us to be only 3 points behind the leaders with a game in hand.  I know I wasn't expecting both our starting goalies to be out injured and Wenger signing an emergency keeper.  And as far as Saturday's game goes, I really don't know what to expect there either.  I'm hoping for Wenger's selections to make sense, and for our boys to play hard. I figure if they don't play hard, the sight of Mad Jens on the bench, or in the locker room, might make them reconsider.

Because he bites, you know.

Time for a nap.  See you later after the match.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

It's Time for Refs to Exit Stage Right

This post is for the men on the pitch with a whistle in their hand and cards in their pockets.  Yep - I'm talking to you.  I want to make sure that you understand why we fans watch this beautiful game.  I want to remind you who the stars really are.  We watch and cheers because of our players and for our club. They are the ones who should take center stage.  Their play should decide the outcome of matches.

Not you.

I'm not one to often condemn you officials.  I usually take the view that a complaint about a ref is a cop out, an attempt at covering up poor play.  However, the past few weeks, the poor play has been on your part.  And since your name is not on the squad sheet nor the reason we pay for a ticket or a cable package, I think that you need to shape up or ship out, as my Dad would say. 

If a player played as poorly as some of you officiate, he would be cut from the squad, relegated to the reserves, or just outright sold.  I hear that one of your brothers - Mark Clattenburg- has gone on a four week hiatus to get away from the recent pressure.  Maybe that's an idea that the rest of you should consider...take a vacation, go on  a retreat, whatever it takes for you to be able to take a step back, regroup, and come back able do your job in an even-handed, logical manner.
Anthony Taylor - the ref who couldn't keep up with our Russian

I understand that honest mistakes are made especially in the EPL where the game moves so very quickly (the aforementioned  Clatttenburg recently admitting that Rooney's elbow against Wigan was in his peripheral vision only).  But if you are too slow to keep pace with the quickness of play,  and a player gets fouled in the penalty box with you too far back to make the call - I have no patience for you.

Nice bump Phil...when ya due?

If you kick a player off the pitch for grabbing an opponent by the scruff of his thuggy little neck and pushing him onto the ground, but then allow the offender's goalkeeper to be put into a headlock with no repercussions for the WWF wannabe's?  Take a trip and  ponder your future occupation because your present one should be in jeopardy. 
Nasri gets throttled

If you allow two players to be put into choke holds and do not card the perpetrators, but instead turn around and kick one of the strangled out of the game for taking a shot ONE SECOND after you call him offsides?  You don't need to go on a month's vacation.

You need to be exiled.  I hear Siberia has vacancies.

Some have called for technology to be used to help decrease the amount of your errors.  Those opposed say that it would slow down the pace of the game.  I have to admit I do not want to see futbol turned into Football - taking up to 4 hours to complete.  Your cohorts in France have their decisions reviewed by their board, correct?  I'm not a UK-er but would support that.  I bet you would like a little guidance now and again, wouldn't you?  Unless you're on the take, of course, which I seriously considered  your Swiss co-worker Busacca of last night.  Scandalous.

So step it up.  Ask for assistance, brainstorm on how to be the best that you can be.  Leave the stardom to the, err...well the stars.  Perhaps it's a wakeup call for you to realize that you are the background.  The players are the art.  Blend in by being consistent, fair, and straight.

Otherwise, Siberia will be your destination, one way or the other.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Health Hazards Ahead

There have got to be health hazards in consequence of being an Arsenal fan.  There just has to be.  Near-exhilaration followed by huge emotional letdowns cannot be good for one's health.  The stress of watching this team's unpredictable play is going to be the end of me.  These guys?  They're gonna kill me one of these days.

Part of the problem is expectation.  We all know the talent that is in abundance at the club.  We know their potential.  We watched in angst and awe as they took down Barcelona.  We've witnessed many of them grow as players and as young men as they came to the club at the ages of 16, 17, or 18 years of age.  And yet, they cannot fulfill that potential on a regular basis especially with key men on the sidelines.  There seems to be missing that ingredient that binds their attitude together into a like-minded will to win.  Two of our players who were out due to injury have that will.  Cesc and Van Persie bring that drive.  But when they're not on the pitch?  Nasri was captain yesterday and he did look hungry for the ball and a win, but somehow he could not inspire certain other players.  Arshavin had many moments of energy and trying, Jack always works hard, Bendtner was - well, he was Bendtner, and our fullbacks were racing around as usual.  Our man who was pushing the farthest forward at times was Koz, and that speaks volumes about how badly our game needed a shove. 

I really wonder if our expectations are too high with those key men out injured.  Do other teams realize their potential with their main striker, creative maestro, speedy winger, and key midfield defender on the sidelines?  We were not as flowing without them, we couldn't go as wide or get in behind the defense as often.  Our flow was hampered and our counter attack negated by our second stringers whose style of play slowed our game down.  Once some substitutions were made, the game flowed better, and we started to really scare the opposition with attempt after attempt and attack after attack.  For whatever reason, be it bad luck, a curse put on us by a gypsy Fergie relative, or the standard blessing that seems to be put on every visiting goalkeeper to have an outstanding game at the Emirates- we could not find the back of the net.  I stood up in excitement and sat back down again only to have to stand back up in anticipation of another attack so many times, that I was exhausted, weakened, and could have sworn I had developed heart palpitations...and depression...and some sort of general anxiety disorder.  I'm missing clumps of hair from both sides of my head.  See what I mean?  Hazardous.

And my health, I fear, is not going to get any better soon.  We face Barcelona in two days' time and could still be without all four of those starters plus Jack who has an ankle injury.  And while I think our defense is in better shape than that of last year's matchup at Camp Nou, I'm now worried about whether Wenger can shake up the lineup formation to keep our game fluid as possible.  That's when we're at our best, and that's when we have a chance at meeting our potential.  I have no expectations yet.  I am making myself wait in forming any opinion about our chances until I hear who is on the plane to Spain...in the rain?  Something not quite right there, hmmm.

Until then, I have to make a doctor's appointment.  I'm thinking of having a pacemaker put in.  Maybe one of those that I only have to really use once or twice a week until May.  I could just try and get a prescription for a mild tranquilizer to chill me out during the matches, but with my luck, the local pharmacist would be a Manure fan and then I'd be slipped something that would make my heart race even faster - in which case I would need a pacemaker.  I think I just made my decision.

I hope that all you Gooners out there are in better health, but if you are as obsessed about this team as much as I am, I think you could all be visiting your doctors soon as well.  Maybe we should all buy stock in cardiac medical equipment.  Just a thought.

Take care, and take a lot of deep breaths.  Talk to you soon.